One Year

One year ago today I told my wife I was gay and began this blog. What a year it has been! Over 61,000 blog views, over 1,000 comments and 148 posts.

I know that I made the right decision to come out to my wife and us splitting up was also the right decision for us. Both of my parents have come to accept who I really am and most of my friends have been supportive as well. The following other events occurred over the last year:

The Bad

– My wife made the difficult decision to move to Florida. I continue to miss her and my dogs. Thankfully, she is doing well and seems okay and the divorce preparation has been going well, too. Although extremely difficult, she could not have handled all of this any better

– My grandmother died of Alzheimer’s Disease over the Summer.

The Good

– I was very lucky and found a great boyfriend in Bell Guy a few months after coming out. He moved in with me about six weeks ago and I look forward to many years of continued happiness with him.

– I got promoted twice and have now reached the pinnacle of the career ladder at my company at the age of 31.

– I had the pleasure of chatting with people from all over the world that I have met from this blog. I consider many of you friends, appreciate your support over the last year and look forward to meeting more of you when I have the opportunity. You know who you are.

– I have gotten to do a lot of travel this past year which was great fun.

Looking back, I think the year prior to this one was more difficult for me, as I was making the decision to come out. I am really looking forward to some stability and a “normal” year coming up, as I think most of my challenges are behind me. One goal is to come out to more people as I firmly believe it is important that people see gays as normal people and me coming out will perpetuate that. If every gay person came out, I know we’d be further along in our rights than we are today.

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First Pride. Bleh.

Bell Guy and I planned Saturday to go to Baltimore to meet some of his friends and take in the Gay Pride Parade. My first Gay Pride event in my young tenure as an old gay guy.

We made it up there in the early afternoon and met a friend for lunch. I didn’t eat much as I was feeling bloated and a little off.

After lunch we walked around a bit, waiting for the parade to begin, and chatted with other friends of friends in a gay bar near the parade route. It was warm and there was little shade so it was nice to be inside. I went to the bathroom, still feeling off but returned a few seconds later.

About five minutes later, I returned to the bathroom and the toilet was being used. So I barfed in the sink. That’s right, for the first time since I can remember, I barfed. I barfed a lot. Guys came in and asked if I was okay which was nice of them. One asked if I had too much to drink. No, that wasn’t it. I do not drink at all. He wondered aloud what it could be as he left the bathroom. I texted Bell Guy that I needed help and by the time he got the text I was out of the bathroom. I felt better but was told that I looked “a little green.”

Longer story short, we took a cab back to friend’s apartment, got Bell Guy’s car and returned apartment keys back to friend at the parade route. Actually Bell Guy did. I sat in the car. He prepared a triple layer barf sack from plastic grocery bags and we headed back towards DC. We missed the entire parade.

About half way down I-95, I told him it would be a miracle if I made it back to his place without barfing again. He was surprised that I said that. Five minutes later I did barf again and nearly filled up the triple layer barf sack. So gross.

We arrived back at his place at about 5pm. I asked if Bell Guy had any irritating neighbors he wanted me to leave the barf sack with, but he declined. We went upstairs and I got in bed. Bell Guy set up a barf bucket. About 9pm that night I got barfed again and at that point there was little left in my stomach and, you know, barfing on an empty stomach hurts like hell.

Needless to say I did not sleep well Saturday night. Although I did not get sick, I was uncomfortable. Yesterday I stayed in bed all day and ate virtually nothing but did not get sick.

Today I was back at work but felt woozy until I had some lunch. I lost almost five pounds between Friday and this morning. Yikes. All appears well now and I hope it is a few more years until I barf again. Thanks to Bell Guy for being a great Barf Buddy.

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Gossip Gone

Many months ago I wrote about Gossip, a trusted manager and “friend” that questioned my sexuality with another manager at work. Over the last few months, I have tried to work from home more and let the management of that office run that office without me being involved day to day.

Anyways, Gossip began to make some pretty big mistakes and our General Manager began to get involved. Gossip felt that she was being picked on and instead of coming to me about it, she decided to resign. Her last day was supposed this coming Monday.

We promoted someone to take Gossip’s job and while she was discussing her responsibilities with the new person, this conversation took place:

Gossip: What did they offer you?

Newbie: $34,000

Gossip: I’m making $38,000. You need to go back and ask them for more.

What a bitch. Because she broke policy and decided it would be fun to stick it to us with that conversation, we had to send Gossip packing this past Monday. Her position being vacant this week has made life rather difficult, but her attitude was so poor it was the right decision.

Oh, we had to pay Newbie more to accept the position.

Good riddance Gossip.

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Vegas Part I

Finally a little about my trip to Vegas a couple weeks ago…

The purpose of the trip was for a convention but I went out early with some coworkers that had never been to Vegas. I’d share pics we took but coworker has yet to send them to me so the ones below I lifted from the Internet.

The JetBlue flight was suweet. I somehow snagged exit row seats for us the day of the flight, which made the long flight so much more bearable. Lots of free snacks and Juno was the in-flight movie. While I had seen it, I watched it again because it is such a cute movie.

After selecting the rental car and trying to leave the airport, the guard noticed the license plate was expired so we had to go back and switch cars. This was irritating since it was 2am Eastern time at this point and we were all beat. They said they’d knock some money off the bill for the inconvenience. I’m still waiting.

I stayed most of the trip at the MGM Grand. It is a huge hotel but we were able to find a short cut from our rooms to the lobby via the stairwells. That took some doing and involved getting lost outside in an employee area and getting rescued by a hotel worker at one point but ended up saving time in the long run.

The next day I took the gang to the Hoover Dam. It was incredibly windy that day but was not freezing and the dam was not terribly crowded. If you have yet to see the Hoover Dam in person, you should go at least once. Really is spectacular to think how those men were able to build so many years ago.

We ate a late lunch at Claim Jumper, which was so yummy. After lunch we headed to Red Rock Park, which was really beautiful.

That night, we went and saw Cirque du Soleil’s Mystere. It was a great show. One scene was so homoerotic I know I had to have been blushing. If you ever have a chance to see a Cirque show, it is worth your time and money. For the record, my favorite is Ka.

The next day we explored The Strip. The hotels never cease to amaze me. Lots of fun and great people watching. I learned how to play video poker and now have a mild addiction. Thankfully one doesn’t lose much playing the nickel machines.

The convention began the following day and was probably the best one I have attended in five years. The sessions were quite informative and I have already implemented some of the ideas I learned about.

Journey was the group performing for Fun Night and totally rocked. Their new lead singer is absolutely amazing. He sounded just like the original lead singer. I think I’d pay to see them again.

Bell Guy arrived that night and I’ll blog about the rest of the trip tomorrow ☺

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Dilemma

When we (me and two coworkers) checked into the hotel, I very stupidly asked if we could have rooms near one another. Now, this hotel has over 5,000 rooms so maybe that was a good idea at the time but I did not think it through. When the front desk girl told me that she could only put us in rooms close to one another if we were in the wing that only had king beds I agreed. Again, I didn’t think that through. Granted, at that point it was about 2am “home” time and my brain must have been somewhere else.

As I previously blogged, Bell Guy gets here in a few days. I am not out to these two coworkers and they think that I am still happily married. Now, I will have a man staying with me in my room. In a room with only one bed.

I have considered changing rooms but I unpacked days ago and I am nice and settled. I told Bell Guy about my dilemma and while he said it was up to me as to what to do, I know he is growing tired of me having to hide behind this idea that I am straight and things are normal for me at home. It is not unusual for me to be paranoid when I am out with him and we are in areas where there is a greater chance that we will run into people that I will know (that happened once and although I had a mild heart attack I survived and do not think the person had any suspicions).

I’ve decided that I am not switching rooms. One coworker leaves the morning after Bell Guy arrives and if the other sees me and Bell Guy together I’ll have to deal with it. I do not want people to think I am running around my wife’s back with some guy but I am not going to sneak around either.

I have said to myself a million times over the last six months that my one main issue I have with all of this is not me being gay. It is me getting married and then realizing years later that I am gay. I cannot get over my belief that those facts destroy my credibility with everyone I know. Nobody really understands, or will understand, and I do not want to discuss it, especially with people that I am not super close to. I am friends with many coworkers but it is none of their business how all of this came about and I have no plans to tell them. I guess I am going to deal with all of this as it comes. I know that I cannot continue this facade at work forever.

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A Kiss

Back to catching up on Bell Guy…

A couple weeks ago I had to attend an afternoon office Christmas party downtown. I decided that I would park at Bell Guy’s apartment and take the subway down.

Bell Guy worked from home that day so after visiting with him for a few minutes, we walked to the subway. He kissed me goodbye, which was kind of a milestone for me. It was my first very public gay kiss. Public displays of affection are still a challenge for me, which I will blog about in future posts. Nobody heckled or threw anything at us so I survived.

After the uneventful party, when I got back to Bell Guy’s place, he cooked a nice baked chicken dinner with green beans and potatoes for us. He is a good cook and specifically cooked those foods because he knows I like them. He really is a thoughtful guy.

Later that night, I went further sexually with him (he gives magnificent blow jobs) but had to leave after to go home. I hate leaving him. I wish I could spend all of my free time with him.

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Vegas Trip Report

The trip to Vegas was fast and fun!

The first night we met another manager for dinner at Maggiano’s. That is my favorite Italian restaurant. The spaghetti sauce there reminds me of my grandmother’s.

The next day we were off to the convention expo in an attempt to recruit vendors to pay and attend our convention we have in the Fall. We booked the trip so late we had to stay in an off Strip hotel and doing so was kind of a pain. So, we drove to the expo area and began our work. I tell ya, walking around on a cement floor all day was a feet and back killer. I did see a few hot guys which was nice.

That night we went to see Phantom. Phantom is a shorter version of Phantom of the Opera, which I have not seen, and was totally fab. We had great seats and I really enjoyed the show and highly recommend it if you’re ever in town. The special effects and music were amazing. I actually liked Phantom more than most of the Cirque shows that I have seen (it is not a Cirque show).

Day Two was back at the expo but we finished in a few hours and went to eat at Bahama Breeze. I love that place and its chicken kabobs. Yum-O! Wish there was one closer to my hometown.

We tried to ship back some materials at FedEx Kinkos but ran into a completely unhelpful employee (no I do not want to find my own box, tape, etc and pack the stuff myself) so we found a UPS Store, shipped the stuff, and headed back for our hotel.

After pissing off the housekeeper by telling her to come back later (because I wanted 15 minutes to lay down), we headed for the Monorail and went and explored some of the hotels on the Strip. The manager I was with, Gossip, was quite a trooper as we walked around a lot and she is older. She hadn’t been to Vegas in over ten years so everything was different for her this time. No complaints and she really enjoyed herself. I did too.

Our first stop was the Bellagio. As we were walking across from the Bally’s Monorail Station, the Bellagio fountains were giving a show to what is now my favorite song. I could have stood there lost forever in that magic. They have always been the highlight of any trip to Vegas and I decided next time I travel there for pleasure I am going to stay in a room that overlooks them, if only for one night.

We then went and looked around the inside of the Bellagio, Mirage and Caesar’s Palace. I gambled a little on the way but lost virtually nothing and it was fun.

After looking around in the hotels, we took a cab to Fremont Street for the “Fremont Street Experence” light show. We got there just in time and while the show was good, the one I saw a couple years ago was much better.

Since we would have had to wait an hour for the next show, so we decided to go back to the Mirage for dinner. After dinner, I gambled a little more and we went back to Bellagio and watched the fountains a few more times. This time it was dark and we agreed the shows at night are even more amazing.

That was it. The next morning we got up and went to the airport. I am going back in March for about a week for a convention and am looking forward to that trip. Although I am not a big gambler, I always enjoy my time in Las Vegas.

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Vegas Baby!

I am in Las Vegas for a quick conference. I arrived tonight (my god I forgot how long that flight is from the East Coast) and fly back Saturday. Ironically, I’m here with Gossip. Although I do not always agree with her methods, we generally have fun together. I’m not much of a gambler but we are going to see the show Phantom tomorrow, which I am looking forward to. That and the opportunity to drool over hot packs of gays, which I already spotted in the airport, will make for a fun few days. On a different note, I watched Hairspray on the plane and loved it!

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Gossip Mongers II

I swear some days I think I am paid simply to babysit. The people that report to me are generally twice my age yet they act like they are in kindergarten.

The manager (known here as “Gossip”) that found it fun to gossip about my sexuality got into it with another manager today (“Hard Head”). They have to work together. That is just the way it is. Well Gossip tells Hard Head that Hard Head simply is not a good person at heart and, therefore, she has no time for her. This caused Hard Head to cry and call me.

So I got to debate with Gossip, who is fairly new to the company, how she never gave Hard Head a fair chance and, instead, allowed others’ opinions to influence her before she even met Hard Head. (Again, gossiping in the workplace rears its ugly head and does nothing but slow productivity and hurt others.) Gossip doesn’t see it that way but the truth is, while Hard Head can be a pushy bitch, she is a good person at heart. She cares about the company, her office, her community and her family. Sometimes she just rolls right over others without considering their feelings. So, I’m saying her intent is good, but her approach is not. Gossip doesn’t put up with that. So, I told Gossip, who I consider important to my division, that she had to call Hard Head and they were going to go to lunch next week. Boy she hated to hear that. Idiots.

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Out to an Old Friend

I was chatting with a friend that I’ve known for fifteen years last night. He works at my company and has been really busy on a large project the last six months. We haven’t seen each other much since the project began. He asked how things were going, and I was debating whether to tell him about me coming out to my wife. At first, because he is a co-worker, I was not going to say anything. Then I figured the hell with it and told him. He thought I was kidding at first but that quickly changed. He was very supportive and apologized that he had not been around the last several months. He promised to keep his mouth shut at work and I think he will. We’re going out tomorrow night and that should be fun. This was the first local straight friend I’ve come out to and I’m glad I did it.

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